this day was actually quite a horrible one. i feel bad because i didn't do my job well. basically, i did nothing. i have around twelve hours work today but im honestly doing nothing! i let the kids to play computer games with their ipad and they seem to be satisfied.

but as i wrote earlier today, i'm just so done. i don't mind anymore if the parents don't like my way of doing. until now, i have taken the kids every day to somewhere and tried to play with every single thing they want me to play with them. the days were rough. now, everything has changed. whatever. if i get nothing, i give nothing. my rule.

tomorrow we are anyway going to the town nearby. the older kid has a private maths lesson with his teacher (one lesson=30£). we'll go to a playing area there as well. and the day after tomorrow there will come one boy to play with them.

i really hope i would get a job as a Finnish customer service worker or as a translator. i realized now afterwards, that i should have wroten better cv. personal profile, interests... where are they? i have no education so my chances aren't that good, should then give best to the cv... i'm very unpatient, i applied yesterday, and i'm already nervous that what the fuck should i do next then. being an au pair doesn't any longer seem to be an option.

oh maaann, the older kid is just so a crybaby. if someone hits him, he does nothing but cries. HIT BACK BOY! you have a horrible horrible little monster brother, you if who should definitely FIGHT BACK! and don't come always to cry me! and the smaller kid... i don't need even to say anything, he's just a total trouble monkey. oh thank god i'm out after two weeks.

what i have learned during my au pair period (it will be 4-4,5 months)? well, i definitely learned to be more with the kids, quite obviously. i learned to say "no" more, and handle with people. i probably speak even better english, at least my accent got much better. i'm not sure if i learned something important, in kind of way it's just waste of time. WHAT was the BEST part of this lifestyle, is THE weekends! my friends, weekends, trips and parties! my friends is something i'll miss so much if i move away from the area (which is quite likely).